Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
