So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
