If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
