note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
