im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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