All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize