yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
