Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
