can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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