go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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