found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
