He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
