I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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