you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
