fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
