What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize