Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
