it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
