Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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