dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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