so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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