She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he thought i was a dude.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
