so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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