So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
