it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
