Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
