Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
