The maid of honor just puked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
