oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
