are you so shy because you have an std?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
