you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize