before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
