just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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