filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
