Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
