Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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