I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
