I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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