so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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