doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Houston, we have a squirter
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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