I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
