exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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