Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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