Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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