how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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