Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
