When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
