Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
