it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
