So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
