oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
