so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize