No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
