Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My vagina is very pro this idea
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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