I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
