i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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