I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
