Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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