he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize