i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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