wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
