Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
two words: eviction party
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Someone signed my nipple.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
