Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
