She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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