I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize