sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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