Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
